Tonight's post is from an email I received from mom's friend Stacey.
Today was a so so day; she wasn't able to stay up very long when the family was here. She's complained of a lot of stomach pain today.
It was a tear jerker when Kevin (Mom's best friend's son) was telling her good-bye. She told him with a quivering voice that she only had months at most.....Hearing them say their good-byes was heart wrenching for me.Kevin said he didn't think he had ever been in a situation to tell someone good-bye knowing it was probably going to be the last time he would see her.
What do you tell someone? How do you tell them? How do you pull yourself away?
Good-bye took on a whole new meaning for Kev today.....I cried seeing the anguish in his face. God it hurt to watch him struggle just to get in his car and drive so slowly away.......I couldn't look up....couldn't bare to see the pain as he left.......
Carol has been terribly quiet since Kevin left....I guess I would be too, heck I have been! What do I say? Isn't a word that comes to mind for me (Yeah I know that's unusual!)........
Sometimes I think seeing her everyday...watching her deteriorate nearly before my eyes is so hard.....but I think telling her good-bye would be worse for me........this way I don't have to say good-bye, not yet......
My heart aches.....for her....for her friends.....for her family.....
Carol is......well she's Carol...those who know her know what I mean (smile)....but I've known her for 18 years so I'm pretty used to her ways.......She always felt the need come off so alo0f to most things......I never really got that part but I saw through it....maybe that's why we became so close throughout the years....I knew her outward appearance wasn't all that she really was but I allowed her to be that way and would only call her on it once in awhile! Carol's abruptness would scare the hell out of some people....Me, heck I just laughed at her........
I may not be family (or maybe that sixth child!).........but I love her just the same....... So I will help her to maintain that..... lets' just call it dignity.......... because for Carol it is who she is....and who she is.....well it is who I love so much
After I read Stacey's email, I added a You Tube video to this blog. It is a performance by Celtic Woman singing "The Soft Goodbye."
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1 comment:
Wow, Stacy, I couldn't have put the description of Mom any better. We have been trying to do that for years and you did an excellent job. Dignity is definitely very important to Mom. I know I have said goodbye to her a thousand times over and over in my head but I know it is getting closer to time to do it in reality and that is going to be one tough thing to do. I have lost many loved ones in my life but this one is going to be really tough. We just need to let Mom know as often as possible that we love her and she is going to a special place with no more pain in her life. Stacy, I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for Mom. I know she greatly appreciates it and I know I do and especially Lori. You have taken a great burden off of Lori by helping with her on a daily basis and still allowed Lori to have some life of her own. You are a true friend to Mom and everyone needs a friend like that especially in these times of need. There are not too many people in this world who would take on what you have.
I could go on and on but I think we are to the point where we are going to have to accept Mom's choice in what she wants to do with her life, respect that and move on from that point.
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